i appreciate your judgement--

i really love this show, and kinda wanna be in the middle of a colin/bradley sammich.

no, really.
i do.








THIS IS WHAT I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS!

that i want to have my way with these men:

kevin mchale:


jay sean.


matthew gray gubler.


josh beech.


nicholas hoult.


toby hemingway.


alexander skarsgard.


ryan kwanten.


jack barakat.


oli sykes.


I'M DONE.

meet jay sean--
he's like, indian or some shit, idk.
i'd have many sexy times with him.

AND THIS MAN:


i apparently have a kink for indian/british men.

in other news, i'm good at hating myself, no matter the situation. (:

WHAT IS THIS FUCKERY?!
it's virtually impossible to make a good beatles cover.
he just proved my point, jfc.
ily christofer drew, i really do...
but please stop "covering" the beatles.
you really fail at it . ):
YOU WILL NEVER BE PAUL MCCARTNEY, OKAY.
JUST LIKE RYAN ROSS WILL NEVAR BE JOHN LENNON.

there.
i said it.

this is me:


my name is jade decker.
i was born on february 6th.
i am currently sixteen and have my permit.
my red hair is natural.
i'm a junior in school and in the top fifteen percent of my class.
i self-diagnose myself, but i'm right.
that being said, i have:
-body dysmorphic disorder; a psychological disorder in which the affected person is excessively concerned and preoccupied by a perceived defect in his or her physical features.
-OCD; is a mental disorder characterized by intrusive thoughts that produce anxiety, by repetitive behaviors aimed at reducing anxiety, or by combinations of such thoughts (obsessions) and behaviors (compulsions).
-depression.
-anxiety.
i was a complete vegetarian for a year, then started eating seafood because i was sick all the time. i call myself a vegetarian because it covers a very broad horizon. that being said, i've been a vegetarian for almost two years now.
my mom is usually never fully satisfied with all the hardwork i've done. got a 93% on a test? could've been a 98%. 29th in your junior class? could've been 10. got a B in that chemistry class you're not even technically supposed to be in? should've been an A. this is usulyl why i'm so fucking depressed and harsh on myself all the time. i feel like i'm never going to be good enough.
i quote movie/TV/lyrics to anyone that will listen.
i will NOT change what i listen to or what i wear just because everyone else thinks it lame.
and i've been told i usually brighten up people's days.
do i believe them?
absolutely not.

i will never hate anyone as much as i hate myself.
i hate myself. i hate myself. i hate myself. i hate myself. i hate myself. i hate myself. i hate myself. i hate myself. i hate myself. i hate myself. i hate myself. i hate myself. i hate myself. i hate myself. i hate myself. i hate myself. i hate myself. i hate myself. i hate myself. i hate myself. i hate myself. i hate myself. i hate myself. i hate myself. i hate myself. i hate myself. i hate myself. i hate myself. i hate myself. i hate myself. i hate myself. i hate myself. i hate myself. i hate myself. i hate myself. i hate myself.

New Perspective (acoustic)


dear brendon urie--
i love you.
get in me.
or i'll purchase as trap-on, and get in you.

love, me.





dear anton yelchin--
you're my current love, u kno.
your curls and jawline and acting and fucking russian speaking.
i want you in me more than anyone, hey oh~

love, me.




dear other four gqmfs--
let's have naked sexytimes.
thats all.

love, me.

So save your scissors
For someone else's skin
My surface is so tough
I don't think the blade will dig in
Save your strength
Save your wasted time
There's no way that I want you to be left behind
Go on save your scissors
Save your scissors

it’s four a.m. again
father, forgive me this sin
uncomfortable in this life, yeah
I can’t put down this knife, yeah

I’m carving words in my arms, baby
hey, scars are part of my charm, maybe
I need the touch of a hand
this isn’t what i had planned

i've relapsed.
again and again and again.
i hate how weak i am-- how easy it is for me fall back into things i know are bad for me.

i've come up with baby names.

for a girl-- brannagh alexei eleanor decker.
for a boy-- leland julian kennedy decker.

girl:
brannagh; From bran "raven," a way of saying "beauty with hair as dark as a raven." i doubt my child will have hair that dark...but its an irish name, and symbolizes my irish heritage.
alexei; Defender. and yeah, its a boys name, but when have i not been a little weird?
eleanor; light. my beatles influence is showing, isn't it?

boy:
leland; Meadowland. i fell in love with the name after watching 'the united states of leland'.
julian; Youthful, Downy. it would have been jude, but that doesn't flow quite as well.
kennedy; helmeted chief. y'know, i'm not sure what that means, exactly. i just really love the name, after it was rejected for my bb sister.

and decker is my last name. (:

i'm a little dazed and confused,
but life's a bitch and so are you.
all my days have turned into night--
cos living without, without, without you in my life.
and you wrote the book on how to be a liar,
and lose all your friends.
did I mean nothing at all?
was I just another ghost that's been in your bed?


this one goes out to all the fakers--
out to the critics and haters.
this one goes out to all the fakers.
you all know who you are.
give it up.
your friends will find out.
now or later.
time for change.
just be yourself.
don't be a faker.


some people fight, some people fall.
others pretend they don't care at all.
if you wanna fight i'll stand right beside you.
the day that you fall i'll be right behind you.
to pick up the pieces.

wishing all day that i could have it back.
wishing all day that i could have it back.
wishing all day that it would just be through.
oh i'm lost without you, baby bleu.

dave cook-- lets get married?
idc if you're kissing blonde chicks in record stores.
i've got that red-head thing going for me.

you can sing me demi lovato and we can eat jellybeans. (:

AAAAAAAND ITS TIIIIME!
for an attractive musicians post! :D

( fuck yeah hot people. (: )

well-- i didn't stay up ALL night.
till about three or so.
but it was this past saturday.
kelly, amanda and i all went to the Kentuckiana Pride Festival and had loads of fun!
cotton candy, lemonade, and rainbow beads and rings!

we came home, i took a nap through the lizzie mcguire movie, then proceeded to clean my room for about six hours.
it was lovely.
we went to bed around three, kelly woke me around five, due to her eczema or whatever.
and i din't go back to bed until 7.

its a naked kyle AND caleb!
running.
on a beach.
wet.
unf.

that is all.

NAKED KYLE!
1.52
he's so frail.
i wanna feed him a candy bar.
or twenty.

thanks to a dream i had last night-- my love for this guy has rekindled.

( and what a wonderous dream it was... )

for those who bother to read my posts(coghKATcough) the main computer at my house is crashing.
i can hardly get on my moms laptop and when i do, its for the mass amounts of pinto that seems to take over my brain and wants to mind meld with me.
how am i on now, you ask?

library.
and i can't tell if the security guard on the computer up one and over two is on a dating website or looking at missing girls.
i'm kinda freaked out, not gonna lie.
he's really creepy.

and i'm taking my permit test on monday. (:

a list with explanations.
oh, how very boring i manage to be.

( i know this whole things wrong-- but baby, we're invincible. )

Mercury Summer video


i really don't know why i find charlie so damn attractive.